Ahhhh, the frigid moon is back in the sky to greet me as I walk out of work and towards my car. Today's shift was a solid 4 out of 10 on the Difficulty Scale, and if it weren't for an airplane crashing into the Hudson River earlier, it would have been half as difficult. It's just a not-so-subtle reminder that you never know what you'll be surprised with -- by Mother Nature, or by Man.The passengers of that doomed flight were mostly strangers prior to being pulled out of the icy waters of the Hudson. Now, they are forever linked by this one experience... and like them, experiences and the people that inhabit them will leave footprints upon our sand -- changing our timeline of memories -- changing the very essence of who we are.
Once we are touched by someone or something, we are never quite the same again... and oftentimes I find pause to ask myself if there was one thing I could change about an experience, what would it be? The deeper point is: it's impossible to change "just one thing"; for changing one thing changes everything. Changing everything changes who we are. Something desirable? Maybe in the short-term, but in the long-term, it's a crap shoot.
For the gay man that holds more sentimentality in his heart, I find this to be quite the conundrum when I think about those who have touched me and are no longer around. The ex-boyfriend that faded away; the friend that has passed into the Ethereal plane of existence; the family member who lives so close, yet so far away. Experiences occur exactly the way they are intended... the size, shape, and depth of their footprints vary, but their influence endures upon our souls forever.
Sometimes they are left gently, and sometimes they are planted into us with such force that our heart weeps. One footprint may wash away with the rising tide, while the deeper ones persist as a reminder of some wispy message... but either way, the grains of sand aren't left in the exact same orientation when the tide recedes.
Why do the tides come and go? Why do people come into our lives? Why do some leave and some stay? What are the footprints trying to tell us when even the strongest tides won't wash them away? Perhaps these are the ones worth admiring; these are the ones worth cherishing; for these are the ones we can't wipe away... yet I sometimes I try - hell, we all try.... and we all fail.
And what of the ones that wash away with a drop of seawater? Why do we attempt to preserve them? Why do we try to nurture them? Why do we attempt to invoke permanence upon footprints that we know damned well the sea will take them -- as it was meant to happen?
Maybe the key to happiness, the key to learning from experiences, and the key to conquering things that erode our spirits has everything to do with knowing when to let go and when to hold on.
Why do people come into our lives? Why do some leave and some stay? --- My personal take on that is that in a world filled to the rim with 6-plus billion people in it, someone is BOUND to cross your path and in doing so, manage to not only touch a part of your existence physically but also, emotionally. Some leave out of fear. They have been hurt before and dare themselves not to risk getting hurt again for fear it would be most destructive. They fight against the last resort of course but cannot overcome the certainty if only in their mind. Perhaps the whispers from the heart were not loud enough to override what the mind told them or perhaps ... they simply felt the risk was too great to chance? As for those who stay -- well, that is a blessing without further commentary I believe.
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