Natural Intentions

Today, a relative of mine emailed me a rather weird question regarding homosexuality... and I'm a bit caught off guard because I didn't know she had any interest in my sexuality whatsoever. Essentially, she wanted to know what purpose do I believe gay men serve in this world, if being gay is natural.

I'm not sure of her intentions, but for now, her email is marinating in my queue... waiting for a response. After spending the better part of the afternoon thinking about it, I can see how homosexuals have such a huge hill to climb in order to forge and maintain relationships that go deeper than one-night stands or fuck buddies. Mother Nature has set up such a complicated rule-set between males and females of nearly every species. Knowing if one man is interested in a woman is mostly through non-verbal communication... body language... all in the name of procreation; survival of the species; an ever-strengthening line of evolutionary traits.

But what about gays and lesbians? While heterosexual males in most species compete with each other for the right to seed a woman with his legacy, we homosexicals are busy competing with each other for the right to provide and be provided with "happiness".. something that's in the eye of the beholder. Since we have no need to attract each other in order to procreate, one could argue that we are Mother Nature's weapon to maintain balance by stemming overpopulation. Ahhh... a win-win deal with Mother Nature.

While there are 12-year-old English boys impregnating 15-year-old girls, and a mother of 6 children in California being implanted with 8 embryos -- we are here to help Mother Nature stave off overpopulation. In return, she provides us with all the 'accessories' we need to be happy in our role.

While 1.2 out of every 3 heterosexuals are saying until death do us part, only to divorce a relatively short time later -- we are here to make them appreciate their ability to get married and have children, all while calling them out on what "family values" are when a mother in Houston, Texas drowns her babies in a bathtub... or a mother in Plano, Texas cuts her baby's arms off because God told her to. As Mother Nature's ambassadors, we remind heterosexuals that they are not without flaw... and the prism of normality has many faces depending on which side is lit. In exchange, Mother Nature provides us with hypocritical, hetero-hilarious headlines of entertainment to stuff our blogs with the healing power of laughter.

While heterosexual men are on Mars... alone, homosexual men are on Venus -- right along with heterosexual women... providing the female half of our species hope that not all males are assholes who simply don't understand them. As Mother Nature's emissaries, we provide females with an additional emotional support network. In exchange, Mother Nature gives us 'fag hags' for added dimension and color to our lives.

Natural Intentions. We are here to stay... in a symbiotic relationship with our heterosexual counterparts. They replenish our population. We strive to make our world a better place for ALL. That, my fellow bloggers and bloggettes, is the response my 'curious' relative will receive. A little bit of spice on in, but hey... what can I say... I get one free "Be a Beeeyotch" card per week, so I'm using it on this post.