Beneath the Surface

It's quiet... not much going on at work -- which in a way, ain't good. It's times like this where the daydreaming begins, and now, my thoughts may be considered "weird" by some. Of course, that's okay.... the Black Man Next Door's front door is always open for criticism, ridicule, and spectacle.

Over the past few years, I've gradually jumped back onto the dating raft and floated out over the ocean. It's surface is beautiful, much like the outside appearance of most men can be... but once I suit up and dive into the depths, it's amazing what lies underneath. A man's heart and soul, like the depths of an ocean, is a vast space filled with secrets... wonders... beauties..... and shipwrecks.

Now that I've explored beneath the surface of a few oceans, I've finally embraced the fact that there is something good to be taken from each and every broken relationship. I used to take things with such anger, and always wondered what I did wrong, and why things went down they way they did. The hardest part for me was coming to terms that I can't control everything, nor can I change anyone. In the meantime, I learned what works for me, and what doesn't... and if I didn't have the courage to jump onto the raft, I'd never know what lies beneath the surface in the first place.

The things that we find in the ocean's depths, and in men, can be taken many ways -- depending on who we are as individuals. Some see shipwrecks as beautiful, others see them as... well, wrecks. For me, there are a lot of things I find beautiful about men -- things that lie beneath the surface... and right now, I'm daydreaming of qualities that I feel really bring out the beauty of men.... internal qualities that I would love in a future husband. I'll list just a few:

1. A man that would most likely choose to adapt to his environment, rather than force his environment to conform to his liking. He prefers to use more of a mental/emotional effort to problem solving, rather than physical exertion. In lay-a-man's terms, diplomacy first, swords last.

2. A man that doesn't hesitate to use words such as "thank you", "I'm wrong", and "I'm sorry"... and mean them.

3. A man who respects differences in his partner, and grants a little space to embrace individuality from time to time.

4. A man that enjoys closeness and intimacy... but not to the point where he's literally suffocating you with his arm around your neck in a movie theater.

Okay, seriously... I could go on and on. But, I'll leave room for your input. What are qualities in a man that would make your heart melt? Feel free to add to my list...