I've always been a firm believer that society's (and especially the micro-societies within) strength and identity is affirmed by its traditions. I also believe that traditions help bond members within micro-societies, regardless of their differences... bond them in a way that pays homage to both their society and individuality. Traditions build such a strong solidarity, that people would be willing to fight to preserve them.After all... look at 'traditional' marriage. The heterosexual, religious micro-society has a lock on that -- and is fighting tooth and nail to keep that tradition specific to their inner circle... traditions that focus on giving people a strong sense of self and community -- not necessarily one over the other.
Native Americans have totems, strict cultural etiquettes, and sun dances. African-Americans delve into Kwanzaa. Militaries throughout history have been rich in traditions like 21-gun salutes, warrior codes, and missing man formations. But what about the GLBT community?
Many of us don't identify with traditions such as Pride parades and "White Parties" -- that have one common element -- crowds. I never was good at "group-think" invoking events, and I never looked perfect or felt comfortable marching or dancing in tight clothes. There is no balance between self and community with those types of events... and rather than trying to BE like everyone else and HAVE the same things as they do -- we should start focusing on building our own traditions, alternatives, and even "rights".
I've long thought that many of us are lost, confused, and treat each other like bull shit because we have no traditional blueprints or road maps. The sooner we start making our own and stop referring to other micro-societal blueprints... the sooner we can truly achieve our own balance of self and community -- a balance that we can all embrace and see value in.
Obviously, beauty and youth are extremely high on our value scale -- and those on the outside can clearly see that. We've done a great job at getting that point across, and 'they' mistakenly believe that's what we are all about. Some code us as shallow. Others code us as lustful. We have so much more to offer ourselves, each other, and our micro-society -- but how many "traditions", "blueprints", and "road maps" have we laid out for those in our wake to follow?
Ultimately, our micro-society needs to forge and embrace traditions. I'm not talking about going to bars every Saturday night, marching down 5th Avenue every year, or dropping dead at the White, Blue, and Purple Parties -- but some that allow those on the outside to not just see who we are... but feel who we are, too.
"Equality comes not through what one has, or who one is -- but one's ability to succeed, to fail, and to go just as far as anyone else in life. So, if our micro-society is inherently equal to others, what are we really fighting for?"
- Kevin
Problem is, bars and parties are an excluding thing; if you aren't young, pretty, and a partier, you aren't wanted. There's lots of gay people who never go to bars. There's so much more to life besides getting drunk and getting screwed.
ReplyDeleteHistorically, not much else was available to gay people as a community; when homosexuality was illegal and we were all de facto criminals, there was no where else to meet and congregate except bars, and even then you took the risk of getting raided, hauled to jail, and you name printed in the paper. So we have a long, long history of partying and furtive sex - not the greatest tradition, perhaps.
Contrast that with the African-American experience; instead of hiding yourself away, seeking out some hole in the wall bar to be yourself, blacks lived surrounded by families and friends. Granted, oftentimes in a segregated neighborhood; but still, they had all generations together, doing all the activities of life, not just partying the night away. Same goes for all other ethnic groups; there's a real community that everyone belongs to, not just the pretty people.
Like the Prez said in his Inaugural Address, the time has come to put away childish things. As the gay community becomes more visible, more comfortable, part of the mainstream of life, I hope we develop a community that is bigger and better and more inclusive, more supportive of one another, and more meaningful than just a string of mindless parties and one-night stands. Thats my 2c anyway.
"Problem is, bars and parties are an excluding thing; if you aren't young, pretty, and a partier, you aren't wanted."
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insightful response, Russ. To add 2 more cents, this one of many reasons why we don't know how to respect one another -- why there is such a huge rift between the Excluded and the Included.