Once someone found out that I have high-tailed myself to Chicago, in came the 'guilt-trip' voice mails. They might as well have straight-up called me a selfish, little bitch.*Sigh*... the joys of being selfish... not that I have ever understood why society acts like "selfish" is bad. Forgive me for the slice of The Black Man Next Door's mind, but here comes a plateful of it onto your dinner table.
Sometimes I feel like life is nothing but a huge Craps table... and each and every one of us is standing around its edge, fidgeting with our chips, constantly calculating our risks, and weighing whatever 'options' we deem best for ourselves.
As I stand in the realm of the casual observer fondling my chips, I watch as players eye each other, and then place their wagers onto the table. A couple of men just placed their wagers on something called a "Pass Line". Hmmmm... What are they passing on? A one-night stand? A job that didn't offer all the perks they were looking for? A great guy in search of one even better?
*shrugs shoulders*
Off to my left, I noticed an older, distinguishably dressed gentleman accept a cocktail from a passing go-go boy. When the drink disappeared off of the tray, the go-go boy waited for the older gentleman -- as though entitled to something more. The boy's lips pursed as the gentleman slowly threw more chips onto his tray. As the older gentleman dumped his life's savings onto the tray, the boy's lips morphed into a devious smile. One wink from the go-go boy, and the gentleman followed him away from the table like a decrepit little dog.
Suddenly, some ritzy, tuxedo-clad man blew gently on the dice and threw them onto the table... all while being seductively eyed by a casually dressed player teasing a highball's rim with his finger. Will that seduction intensify upon success and fade upon failure? What do I know... I'm just a naive observer... and everyone's just hinged their fortunes on the actions of this one tuxedo-clad man. Everyone has relinquished control to a pair of dot-laden cubes, waiting for their twisted futures to unravel.
I cough as a nearby smoker's marijuana fumes invade my unwilling lungs. Yep, apparently anything goes at this table! Forced to either breathe in his influence or leave the table, I stand my ground as the dice come to rest. Five dots on one; two dots on the other. The men with wagers on the "pass line" pump their fists as pleasure noises erupt from their bellows. Wow... what a game of calculated risks "life" is. But I ask myself, what do the players actually want in the end of all things? Do they have a plan? A goal?
Why do some of us observe, while others play? Some of us are hesitant to take a risk, while others drop chips like they're hot. Is this game like life;a constant shift between have, have more, have less, and have not? If so... then is there really such a thing as a selfless player who doesn't consider his own needs and desires in every action? Perhaps we are all selfish creatures ultimately taking the calculated risk that it's better to be 'crapped out' than crapped on.
Motive... the padlock of selfishness that clings to every man's soul... and maybe it's good if there is no key. If we had a key, we'd all have the ultimate fulfillment in our lives --- and then we'd lose the desire to want something better... to live something better... to be something better.
So, is being selfish really bad, then?
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog! And for following. I look forward to more time together.
ReplyDeleteLife really is a crap shoot isn't?
We are all born selfish, and have to learn how to be unselfish. A baby is the most selfish creature in the universe - it's all me, me, me. But then we get 70 or 80 years to learn how to be a human being. That's our most important lesson. Some people never get it, though. Pity.
ReplyDeleteDepend on the game itself. I feel sometimes you need to be selfish, but other time no. I am play craps, I must be winning. For I am enjoying life to the fullest and half the poor son-of-a-bitches are straving. I am always pleasant and good mood. My co-workers say I always cheerful and ready to help. At times I think they think I am Mr Rogers. But really life is what you amke out of it.
ReplyDeleteRay