Dude, Where's My Plumber?

Imagine one day, you are sitting at your computer and reading this blog. The sunshine is bright. The coffee is strong. All is right with the world... until you hear the loudest, most awful sound of moaning, twisting metal erupting from somewhere in your bathroom.

Within minutes, water starts gushing onto your bathroom floor. Who do you call? This construction worker pictured to the left? How about a preacher that proclaims that it is the word of God that the Earth will not flood again -- and that it's a sin to reverse the Lord's work?

Well guess what... you call a plumber, and the next thing you know, there are dozens of people showing up at your front door. You see a dentist, a teacher, a lawyer, and a vast array of people that don't know diddly-squat about your home, issues, or needs. To your disappointment, a plumber is not in the crowd.

This scenario, albeit extreme, is what I feel like when I read the comments of people who truly know NOTHING about what being a homosexual is like. And sorry, just because you know of a "two-story house" on Elm Street, doesn't mean the "two-story house" on Main Street is anywhere close to being the same. I liken them to the house shopper that looks at the outside to determine a home's true value. They walk around the perimeter and suddenly, they know everything they need to know regarding the house being "right" or "wrong".

There are so many intricacies to the "house of homosexuality", but the most important part is its foundation. Each and every homosexual's foundation was laid on different soil. Some soils shift, while others are firmly set... reacting with nature, or rather, their external environment. Each and every home, like a homosexual, has its own personality. Some are frat houses. Some are party homes. Some are plantation homes, waiting for slavery to become legal again --- yearning for a fresh coat of racist paint.

Look... there is so much to learn about a homosexual, just like a home. The value goes much deeper than someone's anatomical parts. After all, believe it or not, these "house shoppers" may want to consider the fact that there are many homosexuals who aren't promiscuously screwing everything that walks. Yes, THAT part is a choice. We are the everyday, good ol' American home lining good ol' American streets just like everyone else. Our roofs need new shingles. Our yard needs mowing. Our pipes occasionally burst... and we need a PLUMBER, not a PREACHER who truly understands our structure, character, and foundation.

So, enough of the pseudo-plumbers who think they are the God that knows anything and everything about something they are NOT. I am but a house waiting for the right person to be a home to... just like my heterosexual counterparts. Some homes let multiple people inhabit their innards. THAT part is a choice. Other homes let one special person live inside. THAT part is a choice, too; but, if the foundation of homosexuality is choice, not orientation -- then why aren't we attracted to EVERYONE of the same sex? After all, we can just pick and choose whoever we want to be attracted to, and POOF... instant erection, right?

Nah... sorry, Game Over. Insert Coin(s). This isn't a video game. This isn't a shower, where you can just simply turn the knob and have attraction, desire, yearning, and love for a hot man; turn the knob for a refreshing, cool, invigorating, and insatiable hankering for a woman.

Rather, it's the same reason why each and every heterosexual is not attracted to EVERY member of their opposite sex. It's not their choice.. it just IS. This is also applicable to every gay and lesbian "house" resting upon their own foundation... lining the streets of America...and the world for that matter, waiting for that special friend, lover, or companion to open their doors to and help them understand and enjoy what's inside.

Now, if you truly want to know me, come on over. Just don't turn on my sink, because I'm still waiting for my damned plumber... and his name is NOT Joe.