Today marks the beginning of a new era, a day of storms and cool weather here in North Texas. I got up this morning and headed for the coffee machine like I always do. But when I got there, I found a brand new coffee pot and a thank you card from my now ex-roommate. He thanked me for 4+ years of good times and a nice friendship... quite touching, actually.When I realized that I had no filters, I came back to the bedroom and got dressed. On my way out to the grocery store, he was outside loading up a truck... and it was then that I learned something about myself.
I was too choked up for words, and I may have gotten just a bit teary-eyed. But one thing I couldn't bring myself to do was to say "goodbye". I knew once I left for the store and came back, he wouldn't be there. This was my chance... but all I could manage to say was that I'd contact him soon... not knowing if that would even be possible.
So, then I rushed into the car and sped away, leaving a vapor trail as I peeled around the corner. Now, you'd think I would know something like that about myself by now. After all, I am a ripe age of 34. But in retrospect, I never really had the opportunity to say goodbye to someone on my own terms... you know... to say goodbye to them AS they were in the act of departing. Sure, I've attended funerals and a wide range of other "goodbye" ceremonies -- but those are somehow different.
I could stand over a dead person and say goodbye all day long. But, that wouldn't invoke the feeling I had when I saw my ex-roommate and dear friend loading up a truck for what could be our last moment together in this lifetime.
*Sigh*... the thunder roars... and rain pours... he has ridden into the sunset... another interesting twist in life's timeline that signals the beginning of a new era.
Goodby is one of the hardest things to say, especially when done face-to-face. You hope your emotions are matched, and worry that won't happen.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's easier to just get in the car and go.
It's hard to do, but he knows you care
ReplyDeleteI, in some ways, know how this feels. Though not from a roommate standpoint but still, the notion of having to say goodbye, perhaps forever, seems like an daunting task with one such as yourself whom I know has a heart of gold and a smile to endure all darker things of Life. He, your roommate, might indeed have left your side but something tells me that a part of him will always be with you.
ReplyDeleteit is hard to say goodbye...I am on the brink of a new era myself and I will have say a few goodbyes myself
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to say goodbye to a dear freind no matter what. What I would do is send him a card (50cetns at the dollar store) saying hello or something to make both of you laugh. freindship is a wonderful seed, and when it is planted and taken care of, the blossoms of that plant are wonderful and words can not desribe it.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Ray