God of Convenience

I hope everyone had a very safe, happy, and cherished Thanksgiving yesterday! Although I was unable to spend it with my family due to work, I'm thankful to be one of 89.8% of Americans that's not padding unemployment statistics right now. Instead, it was a day of thanks, friends, co-workers.... and football!

Last night, my Texas A&M Aggies played against the Texas Longhorns, in which we were heavy underdogs. A rivalry such as this becomes very important when you have a best friend rooting on the other team. We butted heads last night, and for the most part, kept dialogue to a minimum. But, when the Longhorns won a very good, close game, I was irked when their quarterback approached a news reporter and started spouting off about God, and how he's an awesome God, and the Lord Almighty this, that, and the other.

Of course, being deeply religious and proud of a close relationship with God is nothing for me to be hating about. I'm glad that young athletes embrace their religious roots. However, this little episode reinforces why I'm suspicious of athletes and this outpouring of religion on a football field - especially as a sideswipe answer to the reporter's actual question.

You see, last time the Longhorns were at our home field, things didn't end so well for them. They lost to a heavy underdog 38-30, and the Aggies helped sabotage their season. This same quarterback, Colt McCoy, sang a drastically different tune after that loss. There was no awesome God, Allah, Budda, Sheeba, and whoever else roams the divine clouds - only the evil, Satanic claws of defeat, pain, and angst. It was talk about what went wrong... what to improve on... you know, "football talk"... not "God-is-great talk".

What kind of message are we sending when we only show public displays of divine affection when we either win or get something we want? Perhaps if I had seen him on his knees thanking God for not suffering any life-threatening injuries in such a high collision sport, he'd have more credibility in my eyes.

With that said, I wish both sides all the best. There's a lot of talent and leadership that will aid many of these guys in their journey to greatness. But the next time one kneels after a touchdown and blows a kiss to the Heavens, I hope he/she can publicly acknowledge that there are blessings in defeat as well.

Happy Holidays everybody, and make it a great day!

The Three Doors

It's a cool, wet morning here in North Texas... eight years and one day removed from one of the most vicious, history-altering events of our great nation. Some spent 9/11/09 in a prolonged state of reflection. For others, like one of my friends and former high school classmates it served as a reminder of 'why he hates God... why he's now an Atheist'.

Of course, technically, he can't hate something that he doesn't believe in because that would acknowledge its existence... but it was a very bold statement to make on a worldwide stage such as Facebook or Myspace. So, for those of us who identify ourselves as Spiritual or a member of an organized religion, why was 9/11 "allowed" to happen in the first place? Why did those terrorists slaughter many Americans? What message were they really trying to send?

In my opinion, the seeds of religion run deep into the soil of countless acts of violence, oppression, and suffering that have stained this world's cloth with the blood of innocent people. Life on this planet is morphing into something that is increasingly unsustainable, and when Gayagenda.com's James Hipps challenged me with the question of how to counteract the effects of the Religious Right, this unsustainable state of affairs has become more and more apparent to me.

I believe we have reached the end of a hallway and now stand before three doors. Behind one door, there are endless acts of violence based upon unprovable beliefs that will eventually make 9/11 seem like a blip on the radar screen. Behind door number two, the disproportionate ratio of natural resources to consumers will serve as a catalyst for our arrogance, which will trigger a human-spawned Armageddon that will kill billions. And, behind door number three... there is a single shopping basket. Inside, there's logic, common sense, reason, and hard evidence -- enough to make 7 billion doses of a potion that will provide a greater sense of self-awareness. A potion that will help us see any and all outdated claims and beliefs regarding religion.

The problem is, the doors are not numbered, and we can't open more than one at a time; but one must be opened. So, how do we counteract the Religious Right? I bluntly believe that you can't make someone change... you can only poke holes in their beliefs, such as question what the Bible says about hermaphrodites. If it doesn't say anything or specifically address the implications of God's children who are born with both sexual organs, then certainly, one can draw into question the basic foundation upon which the Religious Right draws their power.

And don't even get me started about finding life on other worlds. Just think of the motives that drive those in power to ensure that we never truly know that answer unless E.T. lands on the White House lawn. Of course, if the Bible specifically addresses that scenario as well, please let me know where you find it. The bottom line is -- over time -- more events will unfold that cannot be affirmed in the Bible, and thus bring about questions that will erode the Religious Right's credibility, with or without our help. In a nutshell, Mr. Hipps... the answer is either time or opening up the door with the shopping basket behind it. Hopefully, we won't kill ourselves in the meantime.

Twist of Fate

I just wrapped up a guest appearance on James Hipps' Blogtalk radio show, featured every Wednesday on Gayagenda.com. It was truly an honor and a refreshing experience!

I was just about to crack open some wine and kick off the 3rd season of The Lair, when I ran across an article in the local news. Apparently, several pro-Gay Christian billboards have been spotted along one of Dallas/Ft. Worth's major arteries, Tom Landry Highway (Interstate 30). And so the fiery debate begins.

In an incredible twist, a woman driving down the freeway sees this gargantuan billboard and gets all riled up and pissed off... so much that she fires a scathing email stating that she didn't appreciate the Lord's words being twisted to fit someone's needs. But lady, dare I ask... Doesn't EVERYONE do that? As a matter of fact, aren't YOU doing that right now by getting upset because someone interpreted the word of God in a way that YOU didn't agree with?

While I applaud these local churches for apparently endorsing gay acceptance, one could easily argue that they 'accept' gays in their congregations and collection plates -- but not necessarily incorporate gay acceptance in their sermons.

I'll dig up more info on the five churches that sponsored these billboards and get back to ya. In the meantime, this receives a YELLOW light.

The Holy Shell Game

My hiatus from Texas continues, as I am thoroughly enjoying a well-needed vacation. Now that I'm 72 hours removed from the esteemed American Bible Belt, I can look at it with a bird's eye view and really understand why I hate living there.

I remember having a rather heated conversation with a co-worker regarding religion and spirituality. Although she is a very nice lady, she just couldn't understand how I could go from being a Baptist to a person that claims to just be 'Spiritual'. In her view, 'Spiritual' people are going to hell because we are essentially rejecting the Almighty. You know the rest... repent for being a cocksucker, blah blah blah... burning in hell... blah blah blah... lake of fire... blah blah blah.

Mmmmm hmmmmm. So, what is my problem with religion? It's simple, really. It would seem that every 'one-God' religion shuns upon us idolizing other Gods, and thus, idolatry is like a Level 5 sin. Okay, my dear, sweet lady... so how do you know that 'The Lord' is the correct one to idolize? How do you know you aren't being tricked by some dubious Demon or Devil into thinking your God is the right one to worship? Is the correct God the one that hates fags? Is the correct God the one that so many wars of oppression, affliction, and violence have been waged over? How do you know that you aren't straying away from Allah, or Raheem, or Khalil, or Holy Rock, or some other nutwing that claims to be the way of 'God'?

You don't. Neither do I. As such, I find the safest course of action is to adhere to the belief that there is a higher power... I just don't know His/Her/Their/It's name... and truthfully, it doesn't matter to me. What does matter to me is that I live the best possible life that I can. I treat others with respect and dignity. I do good things. I love others, regardless if they hate me. I try to make the world a better place. If your God will send me to Hell anyway, since I suck dick and all, then which of us truly has morals? Your God.... or your friendly cocksucking co-worker?

War of the Christians

Ahhhh, something just happened to me that hasn't happened in months! No, I'm not talking wet dreams... rather, I woke up to the sounds of birds chirping... pigeons cooing... one giant chorus outside of my ever-brightening bedroom window. So anyway, while the coffee is brewing in the kitchen, I figured I'd take this opportunity to decorate this small corner of cyberspace with a few thoughts.

You see, last year, I ventured to this new social networking site called Facebook. On there, I started connecting with all sorts of friends, new and old. I forged most of those friendships right here in Texas. But recently, one of my friends resurfaced after a few years, and she has been on my mind ever since I posted "Within These Walls" on February 16th.

Whether she knew this or not, she had a profound effect on me. She gave me a fresh perspective on things, especially religion. In fact, there have been a lot of people... heterosexual, die-hard Christian men and women I've met in recent times that have really helped me understand what's going on in the world.

There's a social war currently in progress... a World War III... a War of the Christians; homosexuals have long been caught in the middle. Even though many of us identify as Christian, we are still their ultimate manifest destiny. We are the "Kashmir" of India, China, and Pakistan. We are the "oil of Iraq". We represent something that two other parties are fighting over. They are fighting over a coveted resource I truly believe all people of faith ultimately need... and that is self-validation.

For the purpose of this post, my newly found lady friend belongs to the side I call "Angelics". The other side is filled with people that go into homo-oriented blogs and assail us with their perspective on what's right and what's wrong... hurling Bible passages at us like Molotov cocktails. Yet, they fail to see why so many homosexuals are angry with them. As a response, some of us lash back with sometimes hateful responses. Texas is literally infested with this type of Christian, whom I term the "Battlers".

War of the Christians: Angelics vs. Battlers

Now, not all Battlers yell, scream, and approach homosexuals with guns blazing. Some of them can be coy, cool, collected, and calculating -- with deadly precision. These types of Battlers move around in stealth mode, dropping landmines in an effort to blow us up piece by piece. First a leg... then an arm; our heart; a thigh; a breast; a wing -- you get the idea.

Ahhh, yes -- Battlers in stealth mode. They pass out fliers... they cruise through gay neighborhoods on "peaceful missions of conversion"... they attempt to alter legislation. Essentially, they confront homosexuality via physical means. They believe by forcing God's word onto us, that will somehow "cure" us of our afflictions and give us the chance to repent, or go to Hell.

Meanwhile, the Angelics, although many of whom empathize with Battlers, take a starkly different approach. They confront homosexuality with the attempt to understand and respect our differences. In reaching out with their olive branches, from time to time, they will invoke their beliefs through indirect suggestions. "Come check out my church this Sunday." "There's this guy in Bible Study that I may think is actually gay. Help me find out." Long story short, they "pray" for us while standing by our side. As such, you'd never see a Battler and a homosexual going to gay bars together... drinking, dancing, laughing, and just having a good, honest time... only Angelics.

Angelics believe that the key to getting people to love God is not by damning them to Hell... stone-casting... rewriting Constitutions... and such. Additionally, they believe that homosexuals are the moral stepping stones Battlers need to quench an insatiable appetite for self-rightousness. They feel that the Battlers are attacking us with words in a subtle attempt to validate themselves, even though Angelics aren't aware that they need to be validated from time to time as well.

Nevertheless, Angelics are generally confident in their own skin and beliefs, and don't feel the need for "pounce and conquer" tactics. So, it's safe to theorize that Angelics tend to indirectly take the "kill homosexuality with kindness" approach. Hence, this is the source of this two-front War of the Christians, and the stains of our blood coat a violent battlefield.

The homosexual's conundrum spawned when there became a need for everyone to co-exist in order for the greater whole to survive. Now, I believe it's vital for the gay community to build bridges, even with those who disagree with our sexual orientation -- or what some like to refer to as 'lifestyle'. For that, the Angelics are the surest bet we have in accomplishing that goal. If there is ever to be gay marriage or rights at the American federal level, it will be at the political hands of Angelics. However, we can only stand halfway on the bridge. If the Battlers would rather blow that bridge up, then there's nothing more we can do with them.

I guess that's why I have only befriended Angelics - and somehow, someway, they manage to stay in my life... walk with me side-by-side in our similarities and our differences. Angelics are the reason I believe that not all heterosexual, die-hard religious, and/or Republican people are out to utterly crush us in this life and beyond.

Within These Walls

For some, there's solace within the walls of a church. For others, there is angst. Still, there are those who find a heightened sense of spirituality. But what some take from the church into the world outside can equate to weapons of mass destruction.

I was an avid churchgoer in my younger days, when I attended Baptist church just south of downtown Dallas twice a week. I remember getting all dressed up for the children's usher board on every 3rd Sunday... riding shotgun in my grandmother's car... listening to His word for nearly 3 hours. Afterward, my grandmother would take us to a friend's house where she always had boxes of snacks and candy to sooth my sweet tooth.

I admit, the absence of fire & brimstone in my pastor's sermons captivated me... moved my soul... instilled me with a sense of security, faith, hope, and a dizzying array of other soul-shaking things. There was no talk of "homosexuality is wrong"... only phrases like "We are all His children"... "Jesus loves all"... etc. When the Reverend did talk about sins, he'd speak in a way that didn't ostracize anyone's core identity. He would provide examples like buying scratch-off lottery tickets or adultery.

As life became more complicated for me, I slowly drifted away from church. Mortal issues such as an abusive stepfather and a growing sense of my sexuality forced me to look at the world in a much broader perspective, with a little less naivety.

Life in a "Bible-Belt" state, especially Texas, proved to be brutal for me. As I grew older, the church establishment became more and more like a storehouse for weapons of mass destruction. Not the church I was attending, but rather, a multitude of locations dotting the Texas landscape. In many ways, I identified with my fellow homosexuals who were angered at things such as messages on billboards pictured to the right.

However, in some ways, I felt pragmatism flow into my veins. Why? Because when I hear some gays and lesbians talk about how bad churches are, especially Baptist churches, I can always point to my home church as an example to the contrary. Even so, the fact is, people have a right to hate homosexuals. They have a right to be racist. They have the right to religious freedoms.

The church that posted the message in the billboard pictured above was subsequently greeted by protesters. You would not find the Black Man Next Door amongst them. In a way, I simply don't agree with our ranks picketing and protesting in front of churches that preach a message that "we" don't agree with. Again, they have the right to religious freedom of expression -- and to encroach upon that makes us no better than them.

Nowadays, this church is posting billboard ads right in the heart of Dallas' gay neighborhood... and I struggle to understand their need to shove their beliefs into our ears. Why can't they live and let live? Why dump their toxic, nuclear wastes into the gardens of people who are different than they are?

There seems to be no shortage of these types of churches, churchgoers, and messages here in Texas. When we encroach upon their rights to live the way they want, and say what they want to say, they recoil into defense mechanisms... a safeguard to defend territory that they feel is threatened by homosexual "invasion". When they encroach upon our rights to live the way we want, and screw who we want to screw, we recoil into our defense mechanisms. A rift in mankind that is steadily ripping open into a gaping chasm.... but after reading many articles and blogs related to our war against our intolerant counterparts, our tongues can be just as toxic and hateful.

In my opinion, if we are to coexist in light of better understanding, it's not just about them getting to know the real "us". It's about us getting to know the real "them", too. They aren't necessarily encroaching our space out of hatred -- but out of simple misunderstanding due to existing stereotypes and beliefs about our culture. As long as we continue to feed those stereotypes and beliefs with Manhunt, Condoms-to-Go, and Gay Phone Sex billboard ads -- they will see the shallow end of the rainbow pool.

We must be pragmatists that are willing to seal the rift... not tear it apart even further. Rather than focusing on differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals, we should focus on our similarities as one human race.

Compromise, as all pragmatists ultimately do at some point.