The Big Three OH?!

I guess we all have our 'scary' age, huh? Some have a weird number like 43 or 66 or 71. If I had one, I'd tell ya.

But 30? Where did gay society mark such a small number as the "Over the Hill" milestone? Some take it with grace.. others take it as an apocalyptic disaster of immense proportions.

For me, when I turned 30 on March 12, 2005, it was a rather graceful, quiet event. Two things come to mind when I hear some whiny guy talk about the Big Three OH (shit)...

1) There ain't a damned thing you can do about it, except kill yourself the day before.
2) Many people don't even make it out of their teens due to the violence of the world -- much less out of their 20s.

But most importantly to ask, what makes 30 such a taboo number in gay circles? What changes from the last day of being in your 20s to the first day of being in your 30s? Does a billion wrinkles suddenly pop up on our faces? Are we suddenly unattractive? Does our sex life abruptly cut off?

When will we embrace the idea that age is totally disconnected from individuality? There are 60-year-olds that act like little immature brats. There are 20-year-olds that act much more mature than others in their age group. There are 50-year-olds that can still light the fires under the sheets... then, there are 18-year-old, gray-haired men that can't get it up.

I will be lucky to see 40, 50, or beyond. For those who are already there... consider that the next time you moan about your age. For those of you dreading the "Big Three Oh", just know that it will be what you make of it. It can be one of the best times of your life!

It is for me, so far....

The Silver Fox Trap

I took a good long look in the mirror yesterday... something I don't do very often. Mirrors have long freaked me out for some odd reason. They don't necessarily show you what you think you should see. Then, some mirrors show you what you don't want to see. Some turn you away. Some draw you near.

Attractive features.
Not-so-attractive features.

What gives these features their power? Why do fine lines, wrinkles, gray hair, or no hair spawn such an ominous outlook on the person we see in the mirror. These are certainly not the features that make me freak out on mirrors, and perhaps when I'm in a more open mood, I'll tell you what they are. Nevertheless, everyone knows that growing old is inevitable. Everyone knows the endgame is death. Never mind that these features can easily make their presence known on younger people, too.

Still, we run. Still, we hide. Still, we dye (no pun intended). Hmmmm... speaking of dye... I couldn't help but laugh at my friend, "Godfather", who recently attempted to dye the few speckles of gray hair out of his head. It didn't turn out quite how he wanted... and if you remember the movie Ghost, featuring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg -- perhaps you'll recognize the following lines:

"Damn, baby! Whatchoo do to yo hair?!" said Orlando.
"It's my new look, Orlando. You like it? It's Autumn Sunrise!" his wife replies.

Godfather certainly knew what I was talking about when I repeated those lines, but he didn't think it was quite funny. I risked my life and accused him of having "autumn sunrise" on his head. Now, some of you older gentleman may think I have the luxury of joking about Godfather's "mishap" for now, but actually, I have gray hair as well.

I shaved my head bald years ago, though... and I've always loved either look. I have cataloged 36 gray hairs not just on my head, but chest and ummm... other areas. I'm one of the 'younger' men that actually LOVES gray hair on a man. Mark Harmon, (pictured left)... and Jon Stewart (pictured above)... are just a sample.

To me, it invokes experience, power, stateliness, endurance, and a host of other complimentary components of character. In my opinion, the Silver Fox that embraces his features is a compelling story in itself. It takes confidence to stand pat, rather than run from Father Time.

We all know He will hunt us down eventually. In the meantime, those like my good friend "Godfather" damage their hair with harmful chemicals that taint a graceful look... splashing their heads with shades of orange, blond, red, black, and brown.

I could swear I even heard Godfather talk of plastic surgery. NO!! I'm starting a campaign called Friends Against Defiling Godfather! This is the man that already has a bucking stud that loves him for who he is.... *sigh* ... we should all be so lucky.

Botox.
Eye Creams.
Hair dyes.
Anti-aging creams.
Anti-wrinkle butter.
Liposuction.
Plastic Surgery.

Someone stands to make an enormous amount of money creating such demonic tools to prey upon those who run against the tide. It's a "Silver Fox Trap".... and for the silver gay fox that runs, I say this. Just know that there are many in our community that admire, adore, and are attracted to you.

Embrace yourself and show off that sexiness, and sure as the sunrise, a quality man will embrace you.