Battle of the Brands

Well, the birthday festivities are over, and it's time to settle back into the routine. One of the most daunting tasks I must do is go grocery shopping. While at the store, I thought a lot about my habits -- and on the surface, what I'm about to talk about next ties in with my "Labels du Jour" post earlier this month.

I caught myself walking down the aisles... snagging my usual products such as Mrs. Baird's bread, Progresso soups, and a variety of name brand items. But then came the mouthwash.

Listerine - $5.47

Something compelled me to pick up a mouthrinse bottle of equal size with the label pictured in this post.

Equate - $3.27

Okay, have I been stuck on labels this bad that I haven't even considered alternatives? I figured there's got to be something wrong with Equate Citrus Antiseptic Mouthrinse, so I turned the bottle around to read the ingredients. They were identical to those in Listerine! I tell ya... for those that really hate labels, this would be a compelling reason why. Looks like whether it's in a grocery aisle, in the streets, or under the sheets -- labels can be so misleading.

Yet, as much as we say we hate labels -- they obviously have some stronghold on our mind and our wallets. The sooner we break free, the more money we keep to ourselves!

Labels du Jour

Here I am, up and at em' way too early, and without coffee. I figured, what the hell! I can be a versatile writer by blogging and chatting online at the same time! In doing so, it's time for me to admit yet one more flaw... one more Achilles' Heel of the Black Man Next Door. You see, I tend to take things so literally sometimes, that I often miss the true meaning or intent of what is being said. Also, I am HORRIBLE at deciphering acronyms... so chatting can be a dangerous thing for me in more ways than one, and I can easily slip into trouble.

This morning, however, I ran across a "label" that is probably so obvious to everyone else... and maybe the lack of coffee is turning me into a feral, confused man. But what the hell is a "versatile top" or a "versatile bottom"? Don't drop your jaw too far, in my defense, I DO know what a top and a bottom is... (laugh) ... but this is something I call a combination label. Combination labels automatically trigger me to snatch a dictionary and do some research before I broadcast my dumbfoundedness to the world.

Hmmmm... okay, okay... (fingering dictionary pages) the first definition of versatile defines it as one who's capable of or adapted for turning easily from one to another of various tasks, fields of endeavor, etc. In the realm of sex, I can certainly understand "versatile" as a simple label -- one who can flip a coin and be just as content with heads up or tails up. I'm cool with that... however, therein lies my confusion.

What is the point of identifying oneself as a "versatile top"? I guess to me, I fail to see why the simple label of "versatile" doesn't meet the criteria of someone who can and does go both ways. Is this some sort of 2oth century "homo-code" that I'm just now running into? Shit, I hate labels sometimes!! While you enlighten me, I'm going out coffee-hunting before I destroy something.

Have a great weekend and last day of February, everyone! Speaking of last day, tomorrow brings forth the debut of Mr. March. This man, who will pop up at 12:01AM Central Time, has gone through a very rigorous vetting process, and I hope you like!