The Double-Edged Sword

*Sigh*... I tell ya... rudeness is infecting society. We all know how this ancient phenomenon is on the rise, but the real question is why?

A fellow blogger's comment on a previous post inspired me to ponder things like why people claim they are online for "Friends" and "Conversation", say 'hello', then drop off the face of the Earth. No follow-up like "How is your day going?"... nothing.

People drive around like bats out of hell, rushing to cut you off so they can imminently slam on the brakes and go below the posted speed limits. Idiots would rather cut across five lanes of traffic, risking a fatal accident to make their exit because they waited to the last minute. Never mind the fact there is another exit just 1/4 mile away.

People shooting their entire family with a pistol and then themselves, rather than just putting the pistol to their own head and leaving the rest of them alone.

The culprit? Technology. Technology has allowed us to produce more, produce it faster, and spoil ourselves into a mode of entitlement. It's also made things that were once difficult to do -- like break up with someone -- much more easier and impersonal. It is brainwashing us in unimaginable ways. Don't believe me? Just look around and count how many people are obsessed with their cell phones. They just HAVE to answer it at all times - in grocery stores, movies, airplanes, hell... even while taking a damned piss. Cock in one hand. Phone in the other.

Technology is such a double-edged sword. The good thing is that it can make life so much easier for us if applied correctly. The bad thing is that it makes being human so much harder. Okay, so let's magically deal with problems without ever having to WORK at them. Let's take out Technology's "Keyboard of Life" and look at a few sitch-e-ations.

Don't have friends? Just log onto a social networking site and amass a throng of no-maintenance, no cost, no frills pseudo-friends. If one slights you, simply hit the DELETE key, and your problem is over. No work, no hassle, no fuss, or... what's that popular line... ahh, yes -- NO drama.

Got a nice guy that's interested in you, but he's just a bit too ugly or short-handed behind the zipper? No problem. Technology's "Keyboard of Life" to the rescue again! Just hit the ESCAPE key; he's toast, and you've made an easy, clean getaway.

Ever notice how some people's age never increases? You saw that same guy online 5 years ago at age 29. Yeah, you know which one I'm talking about... that sexy one - blue shirt with the snaps. Today, he's magically still tenderly 29. Relax, it's no fountain of youth. Whip out technology's "Keyboard of Life" and all of your hangups over age are over. Pick a day out of the year, hit the BACKSPACE key, and do it on that same day every year -- and you can still stay "in the game".

Got a hot guy that you'd just love to "get to know better"? Want to get him to notice you? Well, never fear... the days of having to meet in public first are OVER. Just post outdated photos of yourself on a matchmaking site, and you'll deceive him into your bed, lickety-split. By the time he goes through the trouble of getting toys, lube, condoms, slings, etc... he may be disappointed when he sees your true face, but he's so frickin' horny, he'll just say to hell with it. Press the ENTER key, and well... he will ENTER.

Did you blurt out something via email that you wish to take back? Noooooo problem. Just hit the END key to recall the message, and no harm, no foul. You never have to worry about learning how to smooth things over face-to-face when you communicate something in the wrong way.

Or maybe you just want to ditch a difficult situation and avoid the consequences -- this is something you don't even need the Keyboard of Life for... simply do it via text, and you never have to look that sucker in the eye and witness the carnage of your actions. That's the way to let your fingers do the walkin'!

Humanity is slowly eroding into slavery.... slaves to mindless technology. The next time your day goes from sugar to $hit, just think-- somewhere in the chain of fault lies a piece of technology. Ooops, gotta roll for now -- cell phone is ringing. Somebody's boning me up. Later, bloggers and bloggettes!