The Phone Slave

Okay, now that I've finished up a hot bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, I finally decided to take out my mobile phone and see who's contacted me since yesterday morning. Yes, that's right... a day without answering my phone. A day without returning text messages.

I know, I know -- I hear it every day. I confess that I just plain suck at answering my mobile phone. It's not that I hate the world, or that the person that's calling me has somehow pissed in my milk... rather, some people are slaves to their phones. I'm not.

I work next to a phone that rings constantly for up to 16 hours a shift. I walk two dogs, which leaves no hands available to answer the phone. I mow a 1/2 acre lot almost constantly due to demonically-growing grass/weeds, which makes it far too noisy to hear if someone calls. I commute to and from work, and would rather not plow into an 18-wheeler talking on the phone about a sale at Armani Exchange. I don't have a phone clip to hook my phone into my belt loop and the matching t-shirt that says, "iBitch". It simply means that I have a brave, new world out there that I occasionally explore free from technology.

As I've mentioned before, I'll never understand society's dire need to take calls no matter where they are... especially the guy chatting on his phone from the confines of a stinky bathroom stall. And don't get me started with airline passengers that have to be told 50,144 times to turn their frickin' mobile phones off so we can depart on time.

*sigh* Sheep... mere sheep.

Nonetheless, I tolerate such addictions because we are all different. For those of you who are frustrated with guys like me that don't answer the phone immediately, I humbly ask for reciprocal toleration. Phones are nowhere near the top of my priority list... never have been... never will be. If it's an emergency that can't wait until I check my voice mails and return your call, chances are better if hang up and dial 9-1-1.

I'm a dinosaur... living in the past when there were no mobile phones. Please don't be mad at me or any others like me. It doesn't mean we are cheating, lying, stealing, or in the middle of something... promiscuous. It doesn't mean we are angry, reclusive, or arrogant. It just means that some of us out there are resistant to total assimilation by technology. It's nothing personal... 99% of the time... I swear.