Cycle of Evil, Part I

Today, I feel like I'm 52 years old. For those of you who are keeping tabs, that's almost two decades ahead of my current age. The reason is very simple, and very sad as well.

You see... earlier yesterday, I hired a younger relative to mow my yard for some extra cash, because I'm a firm believer in working for your keep. He was out of gas and out of money... stranded without employment, motivation, or a future. Plus, he's had his run-ins with the law, which has since spawned a gargantuan rift in our small family.

On one side, there are those of us that believe nurturing and understanding will eventually break the cycle of evil. On the other side (which I'm on), we seek to avoid playing the role of "enabler" -- teaching and endorsing a sense of learned helplessness and diffusion of responsibility. I just can't afford to chunk money at him carte blanche; I demand hard work for honest gains. Sadly, I've been criticized for that approach and accused of not being there for a family member.

So, imagine how upset I was when I got home from work last night and the yard wasn't completely mowed. I had also discovered that he'd somehow used an entire 2-gallon jug of gasoline for my yard, which made no sense. I swiftly concluded that he put the rest of the gasoline into his car and drove off after doing a half-ass job.

There I was, grinding my teeth, when I received a text message from him. He wanted cash for an incomplete job, so I ran up to the ATM in the middle of the night to retrieve some cash. Then, I'd give him his money after he turned on the back porch light and/or flipped on a flashlight and finished mowing the yard closest to the house. Yeah, I'm prepared to take the label of asshole for that one. I'm cool with that. Nevertheless, however strong my resolve was, it had cost me precious sleep... hence, I feel like a 52-year-old man.

I'm so frustrated with him, and I wonder what it will take to break this cycle that he and other young men like him are in. What will it take to stop the stealing, drugs, and irresponsibility? Incarceration? Well, I'm wary of the overuse of incarceration as a means of staving off criminal and irresponsible behavior... and I certainly don't think capital punishment is the ultimate answer for anyone.

I'm just thinking to myself: How many youngsters like him have gone to jail and actually come out cleansed of their deviance? Are we just feeding a cycle of evil by breeding new generations of criminal predators through incarceration? Or, are we as a society marking young deviants with a scarlet letter of eternal failure? (Play your Race of Spades card here, if you dare.. or wait until my next post to see if it can be trumped.)

More and more, I think that even if juveniles escape back into society with the determination and motivation to make themselves a better person, they will ultimately carry with them an insurmountable stigma. Just ask the Michael Vicks of society... it doesn't matter that they served their punishment... they will always be criminals in society's eye.

With that said, should we blame them if they ask themselves, "What's the point?" Should we blame them if they have the mentality that they have nothing to lose? It's a vicious cycle of evil, I tell ya.