Free Cat

Okay... I may not be a cat fan, but that's cold-blooded.
Dark humor to admire from time-to-time, though...

Conformity

One of the biggest ironies in my personal life was being afraid to fly, and then seeking employment with an airline to alleviate my fears. Not only did I conquer my fear in many baby steps, but I was also given the opportunity to meet and be exposed to people from all walks of life. Hence, this is where I get off into a very touchy subject that was spawned from my post on Dallas' recent smoking ban.

I remember my first encounter with a passenger that was pissed off because she couldn't smoke on the aircraft. She recalled the days where she could get up into that metal tube and light it up, and now, the evil ones that be are coming up with more and more regulations. Of course, I was a little tyke back when it was legal, and the look on her face was that of a blissfully reminiscing lady.

At this point in the conversation, there were two choices -- not just for her, but for those around her that will be indirectly affected by whatever choice she makes at this juncture. It's not just about what's fair or unfair to her, and it's not about judging her as being right or wrong... and it wasn't an attempt at personal insensitivity -- it was about conformity. The dreaded "C" word that someone, somewhere will inevitably have to endure.

So back to the choices: 1) The lady could choose not to conform and get a refund -- take a car, bus, boat, or alien spacecraft instead. 2) The lady could choose to conform and board the plane, yet refrain from smoking until she landed.

And because her choices affect those around her, those people are now confronted with choices as well. For those people, their choices are: 1) Conform to an atmosphere that they feel is personally unfavorable to their bodies and endure the flight. 2) Refuse to conform, deplane, and request a refund or another flight.

I believe that conformity blends in with choice -- and choice almost always affects more than just one person. Like it or not, someone's "freedoms" are encroached in the situation above. I chose to listen to her complain about something that was beyond my control -- yet, something for which I could see two sides to the issue. Saying "Yes, Ma'am" over and over again wasn't my way of brushing her off and being insensitive, rather, it was my duty to inform her of her choices and address the next person.

That lady paled in comparison to an issue regarding the "Customer of Size". You have an overweight passenger that feels singled out when he is told that he must pay for an extra seat IF he chooses to fly on this airline. It was a very delicate tight-rope to walk, and I empathized with the gentleman. However, there was the "other side" of the equation that suffered in silence. Again, both sides have a choice. Both sides' pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness have been encroached -- because they are on different sides of the fence. As a result, someone has to conform if they want to receive their product.

Yes, I ultimately disagreed with the gentleman, because the fact is -- he did absorb two seats. It was one less seat that could have been purchased by another passenger -- not to mention the gentleman would have been encroaching the space of the passenger next to him. Insensitive? Depends on how you look at it. Judgmental? Depends on how you look at it. Unfair? Well, what exactly is the definition of unfair, and did that apply only to the Customer in front of me?

If a non-smoker and a smoker walked up to you, both wanting to go to a bar -- the non-smoker doesn't want to smoke, and the smoker wants to smoke -- how would you personally address the issue without singling one of them out? Do you believe things like a flat tax on all income and goods would be fair, equitable and realistic -- and can we truly achieve fairness and equality across the board in this world?

Beginning of an Era

Today marks the beginning of a new era, a day of storms and cool weather here in North Texas. I got up this morning and headed for the coffee machine like I always do. But when I got there, I found a brand new coffee pot and a thank you card from my now ex-roommate. He thanked me for 4+ years of good times and a nice friendship... quite touching, actually.

When I realized that I had no filters, I came back to the bedroom and got dressed. On my way out to the grocery store, he was outside loading up a truck... and it was then that I learned something about myself.

I was too choked up for words, and I may have gotten just a bit teary-eyed. But one thing I couldn't bring myself to do was to say "goodbye". I knew once I left for the store and came back, he wouldn't be there. This was my chance... but all I could manage to say was that I'd contact him soon... not knowing if that would even be possible.

So, then I rushed into the car and sped away, leaving a vapor trail as I peeled around the corner. Now, you'd think I would know something like that about myself by now. After all, I am a ripe age of 34. But in retrospect, I never really had the opportunity to say goodbye to someone on my own terms... you know... to say goodbye to them AS they were in the act of departing. Sure, I've attended funerals and a wide range of other "goodbye" ceremonies -- but those are somehow different.

I could stand over a dead person and say goodbye all day long. But, that wouldn't invoke the feeling I had when I saw my ex-roommate and dear friend loading up a truck for what could be our last moment together in this lifetime.

*Sigh*... the thunder roars... and rain pours... he has ridden into the sunset... another interesting twist in life's timeline that signals the beginning of a new era.

Texas Tea Party

Well, yesterday's Tax Day went off without a hitch... almost. Many people are hearing about Texas Governor Rick Perry firing up an Austin crowd with talks of Texas seceding from the United States of America. CNN's post on this subject received over 300 comments before it was closed off.

It never ceases to amaze me at how one-eyed some people can be. One of the many anti-signs held up during yesterday's tea party urged us to stop "Obama's Socialism". Where was this bitch when Bush's administration crafted most of the bailouts that are taking place now? Where was the "Stop Bush's Socialism" sign when then-President George W. Bush appropriated bailout money for the automobile industry?

These tea parties are a crock of shit, really... and I want to stress that not all Texans are advocating seceding from the United States -- myself included. The blood of our family members have been spilled to give us what we have today. I'm proud to be an American, and I'll be damned if some right-winged cronies take that from me.

However, I believe the rest of the nation can sit back and chill. This secession talk will come to a screeching halt the next time Mother Nature rams a hurricane up Texas' ass. There was no need to even mention the issue of secession -- at all -- except for personal political gain. This only serves to distract our great nation from bigger threats and global issues, and it's time for sore losers to fold up their tents and come back into the American fold.

After all, just last week, Gov. Perry groveled for FEMA assistance regarding wildfires that threatened over 95 counties. It's obvious that we all need each other, especially in times of crisis. Seriously, Texas needs to watch what it wishes for. If secession were to ever happen, I'd high-tail my ass to American soil and rebuild my life in another state.

In the meantime, when the next devastating hurricane barrels onshore, the ungratefulness will come to fruition, and I'll be watching from American soil... praying for my Texan brothers and sisters to come back to their senses.

Ahoy, Matey!

With piracy consuming the American media these days, I have to stop and give kudos to the Navy SEALS, the former hostage and Captain who was recently rescued, and to President Obama. Up until now, when I thought of pirates, I envisioned black hats with skulls, parrots on their shoulder, and... well... it never dawned on me that I've never seen a real life dark-skinned pirate.

Looking at this pirate pictured in this post, this just shatters everything I thought pirates were. There are no gold chests and other treasures on these boats. Most of these men are doing what they do because they are part of a failed government; a poor, starving nation that cannot feed its own people.

Normally, I'm not an advocate for violence. However, I agree that this piracy war will ultimately end on land... and hopefully, many nations can truly work together on this issue. Until then, this is what the Black Man Next Door would do if he were in command.

You remember the story of the Trojan horse? Well guess what... I'd be sailing phantom boats with fake cargo up and down the Gulf of Aden --- luring pirates like roaches. Imagine their surprise when they find nothing but a throng of troops ready to stub them out. Yes... hundreds of booby trapped boats... like mobile roach motels, giving pirates something to marinate over.

Of course, the other option would be to simply arm these vessels so they have a fighting chance when pirates board their ships. Why there are so many unarmed boats sailing in pirate-infested waters, I'll never understand....

The Big Gay Surprise

So, apparently Polish right-wing fanatics fail to understand that homosexuality goes far beyond the human species. I was tickled to death when I read this article - HERE.

What I find tragic about the article is that the head of the zoo really thinks this animal is "too young to decide" whether he prefers males or females. That zookeeper is in for a big disappointment.

One has to question this zookeeper's credentials if he hasn't heard of gay animals, and one has to wonder what the pissed off politician thinks about homosexuality being a choice.

Changes in the Wind

2009 has turned out to be a wonderful year so far, albeit only 25% complete. Compared to last year, things could only have gone up... and now, I can feel changes in the wind.

Starting in May, I'll be alone for the first time in seven years. On the surface, it may sound bad... especially for those who are wary of loneliness. However, I won't have that lonely feeling. My roommate is moving out, and it will just be the dogs and me in the house.

I will hear the creaking of the house; the wind rushing against the window; a dog in the distance; the tiniest raindrops hitting the roof. Peace and quiet... total autonomy... laying on the couch naked, watching whatever I want, whenever I want.

There won't be a lover in my bed, which isn't all bad either. At least my arm and shoulder won't be numb from sleeping in awkward positions. I won't be waking up to his alarm clock, or his bedshaking trips to the bathroom, or his snoring. Dare I say it? I'm actually at peace being single and having my house all to myself... me, the Black Man Next Door.. a man driven by intimacy and connection.

In retrospect, I think 2008 took something from me -- a very big part of me -- and now, I refuse to give away just a part of me to another guy. Finally, I'm quite comfortable with taking all the "me time" I need, enjoying life as it presents itself, and being as selfish as possible without consequence to someone else. Perhaps someday, I'll once again have the whole me to give away to that special guy.

Tattoos and Darkness

Well now, it appears that a friend has just lost a bet. You see, once upon a time, there was an argument between the Black Man Next Door and a close friend... we'll call her Fag Hag X.

In this story, we walk past a tattoo parlor on a lovely afternoon. Suddenly, we stop and gaze for a bit. I had visions of moons, yin-yangs, and suns dancing in my head. Could this be my daring moment? Should I finally step out of my shell and do something that I've always wanted to do?

I took one look at Fag Hag X, got down on one knee, and popped the question.... Should I get a tattoo?

She then proceeded to tell me how Black men are fiiiiiiiiiine, as long as they don't have tattoos. Then, she dares me to find just ONE black man that looks good with them. For some reason, her mythical brain thinks that tattoos just don't look good on a Nubian body. So, in this Tattoo War, I say behold... my weapon of mass destruction -- Tyrese Gibson! I put this WMD into an email and forwarded to her for review. I'm still awaiting a response.

Go on... you feel lucky? Huh? You feelin' lucky Ms. X? Just check out that work of art inked into a work of art... then look at me in the eye and tell me how nasty tattoos are on a Black man. Yes, I believe my Fag Hag X has just been put into checkmate... thanks to Mr. Tyrese Gibson!

Great American Smokeout

So, it's no April Fool's joke here in America. Today, American smokers were hit with an extra 62 cent excise tax on cigarettes, and people are getting pissed. Also here in Dallas, a smoking ban goes into effect this month, and the gayborhood bars will be smoke-free.

One elderly man paid $58 for a 10-pack carton of cigarettes in Colorado, and like others, he feels like smokers are being singled out. Another elderly woman flat out says that we are picking on poor people that smoke, and it's just not fair.

Okay, now as a non-smoker, I certainly appreciate my clean air to breathe when I go out. I personally believe that smoking is disgusting, and the chances of me dating a smoker are much lower than another non-smoker. Moreover, while I understand that smoking is a deadly addiction, these two elderly people have a very simple solution to their problem if they are too poor to buy cigarettes.

Not to mention that it's not unfair to tax certain products higher than others. You still have a choice whether to purchase it or not. Besides, look at alcohol in America. The tax on that is not low, either... and by far, the airline industry bears one of the highest tax ratios in comparison to the base price of the product they sell -- airline tickets. But if you don't like that... the beauty of living in America is... you simply A) Shop around for alternatives. B) Don't buy it at all.

Mr. April

Warm and wet -- that's what April is around these parts... and the Black Man Next Door was all about that when searching for Mr. April, Canadian Actor, Ryan Rodney Reynolds. Some R&R we can all appreciate, right?

It's weird that the first time I saw him was on the horror movie remake, The Amityville Horror. To ponder the frailty of a human mind that's 'taken over' by some unseen force is quite frightening... but one look at him, and I got over it pretty fast.

"Vetting" eligible men for this position has proved to be quite difficult, yet rewarding.... considering the eligibility requirements. For the basics, Mr. April is originally from Vancouver, British Columbia - a city that I thoroughly enjoyed, and I wished I had bumped into Mr. April then. At 6'2", Ryan is a 32-year-old Scorpio with rich, deep credentials.

Many of us gay men aspire to win the heart of one who not only takes care of himself physically, but mentally, too. In our many endeavors to find a man like Ryan Reynolds, we find narcissism, overcompensation, and emotional coldness in his place. But when that nightmare is not realized, a moment of reflection is definitely due.

In researching Mr. April, one thing that particularly struck a chord in my heart was Ryan's trip to Malawi a couple of years ago -- documented in an exclusive article on The Advocate. Now, many "celebrities" journey to places that are chocked full of humanitarian afflictions for various reasons. I'm always wary of their true intentions... skeptical about their sincerity vs. their desire to come away with a more marketable image.

Not Mr. April. In going to Malawi to help repair a crumbling orphanage and visit medical facilities, Ryan Reynolds managed to do a good deed for a worthy cause, all while squelching my skepticism over his humbleness.

There are many other things about Mr. April that provide much more dimension to his delicious physique, if you're more interested than just getting him in the sack, that is. Here are some general tidbits about Ryan Reynolds:

Ryan enjoys fishing, motorcycles, mountain biking, and football.

Mr. April has a fear of flying, but obviously overcomes that somehow because he loves to travel, and his favorite city is Amsterdam.

Ryan used to work in nightclubs, a grocery store, and yacht club... jobs that the 'everyday man' can identify with.

One of my favorite quotes from Mr. April regarding the issue of "Outing":

"Hence the witch hunt. That’s what frustrates me about some of the celebrity blogs in particular. They’re so obsessed with outing certain celebrities or punishing the people they think should be out that it turns into sort of this new McCarthyism. If I were a gay man, I’d like to believe that it would be my choice if I were to publicize that or not."

Mr. April - Ryan Reynolds